Red Velvet Cake and Iyanla: Dealing with My Emotional Wounds

A wound needs air in order to heal. We must talk about and expose those things which have hurt or harmed us in some way. Our wounds need nurturing care in order to heal. If we are to nurture and heal, we must admit that the wounds exist. We must carefully do what is necessary to help ourselves feel better. Iyanla Vanzant

Last weekend was a Red Velvet Cake weekend, two slices to be exact (counted as lunch each day). Those two slices looked so good, I didn’t even hesitate when I put the plastic carton into my basket. I have walked past the bakery section (right next to the produce section) many times. I have passed brownies, cookies, and other types of cake. Last weekend was different. The slices were “calling my name.” 

In reality, I let my emotional pain influence part of my decision last weekend. When I think about it, the issue wasn’t the cake. The issue was about my wounds that have not healed. I had been an emotional eater in the past, especially in high school. This was familiar territory. 

After years of therapy to manage my depression, I now realize when my food and drink choices are based on my emotions. That awareness has made me look deeper. 

I saw Ms. Iyanla Vanzant’s quote in my Facebook feed, and it made sense. I have wounds that I haven’t let heal. Most recently I have had my second failed marriage (I married too young and for the wrong reasons the first time) and two close friendships that ended. All three have left open wounds I need to heal. 

As much as I try to say that I am ok and have moved on, I haven’t. I have tears that won’t fall. I have expectations and goals that have vanished. Her quote reminds me again that I need to explore the pain and my role in the circumstances that led to that pain. I was taught to not cry after the age of 9 (“You’re a big girl, stop crying.”). It took years of therapy to learn how to cry again. 

Slice of Red Velvet CakeSurviving with depression has made me more aware of stressful triggers in my life. I have wanted to cry and grieve for awhile.  Ms. Vanzant’s words helped me to realize it was time. Without that awareness, it would have been all about the red velvet cake.

 

Note: If you are struggling with depression and emotional eating, please seek help. You are not “crazy,” and there are people who can help you to regain your mental health. It was the best decision I have ever made. 

 

One Cat Household: New Cat

my new cat Mozeley two cat householdWell, I gave in to the urge to add a new cat to the house. As I said in my previous post, my sleep was suffering from having just one cat. I was focussing on the monetary benefits of a single cat household. It was nice to pay less for litter, food, and pet insurance.  However, I have always owned two cats at a time. So, this was a challenge for me.

After two months of interrupted sleep, we are now a two cat household again. (Thank you!)

I have finally found my Black cat, Mozeley, who is a “love bug” and meows for me to pick him up for cuddling. He even tries to climb up my back as I am washing dishes (scared the hell out of me the first time).

cat sleeping with head on window sill
Shinxley using a window sill for a pillow

 

Anyone who owns a cat understands that cats can be aloof and unaffectionate. Mozeley’s love of human affection is like a well-fitted bra (as a size DDD, a fitted bra is better than gold). As much as I love his affection, he serves a bigger purpose: he helps Shinxley (2.5 years and 2.5 pounds fatter) to live an active life. 

It is also nice to come home to 2 sets of bright eyes at the top of my stairs each day. 

 

 

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