Reblogged from Curly Nikki.
Obviously, enjoying our money doesn’t stop Ms. Frankel from putting us down. As there are many of us who watch the RH franchise, this is a slap in the face. Based on the struggle she experienced in her upbringing and how hard it was for her to succeed, how can she say to other women that you should bring a man to your investment pitch. She must have forgotten that women drink her products, not men. Skinny Girl has been deleted my from my shopping lists.
Original Story from Madame Noire.
…Spring Break knitting on a Monday morning.
As some of my students relax on different islands in the Caribbean and in Mexico, I have started my quest to do nothing at home this spring break. Many of my first and second graders inquired about my travel plans.
Here is how the conversation went:
“Where are you traveling to Ms. Pollard?” I am traveling to [hometown].
“You can’t travel there. That is where you live!” Exactly! I am traveling to my home.
“What are you going to do?” I plan on doing nothing, zero, absolutely nothing! If I knit, that is doing nothing; if I read, that is doing nothing; and if watch my Roku, that is doing nothing. Oh, and the one thing I will do is talk to adults because I need to use bigger words this week.”
So, here is my first “nothing” activity: a golden slouchy hat. It has been awhile since I started a knitting project. I usually the energy or focus after spending my day teaching. That is why this feels so good. It is a moment for me to sit back, relax, and have unscheduled time.
How do you slow down and unwind during your vacation?
A wound needs air in order to heal. We must talk about and expose those things which have hurt or harmed us in some way. Our wounds need nurturing care in order to heal. If we are to nurture and heal, we must admit that the wounds exist. We must carefully do what is necessary to help ourselves feel better. Iyanla Vanzant
Last weekend was a Red Velvet Cake weekend, two slices to be exact (counted as lunch each day). Those two slices looked so good, I didn’t even hesitate when I put the plastic carton into my basket. I have walked past the bakery section (right next to the produce section) many times. I have passed brownies, cookies, and other types of cake. Last weekend was different. The slices were “calling my name.”
In reality, I let my emotional pain influence part of my decision last weekend. When I think about it, the issue wasn’t the cake. The issue was about my wounds that have not healed. I had been an emotional eater in the past, especially in high school. This was familiar territory.
After years of therapy to manage my depression, I now realize when my food and drink choices are based on my emotions. That awareness has made me look deeper.
I saw Ms. Iyanla Vanzant’s quote in my Facebook feed, and it made sense. I have wounds that I haven’t let heal. Most recently I have had my second failed marriage (I married too young and for the wrong reasons the first time) and two close friendships that ended. All three have left open wounds I need to heal.
As much as I try to say that I am ok and have moved on, I haven’t. I have tears that won’t fall. I have expectations and goals that have vanished. Her quote reminds me again that I need to explore the pain and my role in the circumstances that led to that pain. I was taught to not cry after the age of 9 (“You’re a big girl, stop crying.”). It took years of therapy to learn how to cry again.
Surviving with depression has made me more aware of stressful triggers in my life. I have wanted to cry and grieve for awhile. Ms. Vanzant’s words helped me to realize it was time. Without that awareness, it would have been all about the red velvet cake.
Note: If you are struggling with depression and emotional eating, please seek help. You are not “crazy,” and there are people who can help you to regain your mental health. It was the best decision I have ever made.