The time has finally arrived. You are days away from a fabulous vacation. Your bags are packed. You have your passport and tickets in a safe place. You even have the right size of toiletries to make it through security. The one thing you are not thinking of is illness during …
Cutting an inch or two off plus-size clothing and selling it as the same size is not fair.
So, I go to get workout gear at my usual place (Walmart) and pick out a Danskin shirt in my size. I decide to wear it for my yoga practice today and could barely get the shirt on. It says 2X, yet, I swear Danskin took an inch off each side. Two inches and you are still selling it as a 2X?
Basically, God, grant me the wisdom to remember that I am not you. Fr. James Martin, SJ Wise words I should repeat every day, especially at work. These wise words came right on time. I returned to work this past Monday after a week’s sick leave for severe vertigo. I have …
A wound needs air in order to heal. We must talk about and expose those things which have hurt or harmed us in some way. Our wounds need nurturing care in order to heal. If we are to nurture and heal, we must admit that the wounds exist. We must carefully do what is necessary to help ourselves feel better.Iyanla Vanzant
Last weekend was a Red Velvet Cake weekend, two slices to be exact (counted as lunch each day). Those two slices looked so good, I didn’t even hesitate when I put the plastic carton into my basket. I have walked past the bakery section (right next to the produce section) many times. I have passed brownies, cookies, and other types of cake. Last weekend was different. The slices were “calling my name.”
In reality, I let my emotional pain influence part of my decision last weekend. When I think about it, the issue wasn’t the cake. The issue was about my wounds that have not healed. I had been an emotional eater in the past, especially in high school. This was familiar territory.
After years of therapy to manage my depression, I now realize when my food and drink choices are based on my emotions. That awareness has made me look deeper.
I saw Ms. Iyanla Vanzant’s quote in my Facebook feed, and it made sense. I have wounds that I haven’t let heal. Most recently I have had my second failed marriage (I married too young and for the wrong reasons the first time) and two close friendships that ended. All three have left open wounds I need to heal.
As much as I try to say that I am ok and have moved on, I haven’t. I have tears that won’t fall. I have expectations and goals that have vanished. Her quote reminds me again that I need to explore the pain and my role in the circumstances that led to that pain. I was taught to not cry after the age of 9 (“You’re a big girl, stop crying.”). It took years of therapy to learn how to cry again.
Surviving with depression has made me more aware of stressful triggers in my life. I have wanted to cry and grieve for awhile. Ms. Vanzant’s words helped me to realize it was time. Without that awareness, it would have been all about the red velvet cake.
Note: If you are struggling with depression and emotional eating, please seek help. You are not “crazy,” and there are people who can help you to regain your mental health. It was the best decision I have ever made.