Wrestling What Isn’t Ours

Don’t wrestle with something that isn’t yours. Father E.

I heard this profound (deep) sentence last Sunday. As a depression survivor, I am always looking for words of wisdom to help me through my journey. During the collection, I had to write the words above on my church bulletin so I wouldn’t forget.

Part of my journey included joining a church. I needed something else to “hold on to” in addition to my medication support and therapy.

I chose the Catholic Church after attending with my last ex-husband.  (I guess I could say that was the one positive from our relationship.)

My mom’s family is Baptist. I didn’t attend often as a kid, so I didn’t have a strong bond for that religion. Plus the long sermons were a challenge.

The Catholic service is long enough to make me feel good and short enough to keep my focus. In spite of the many times, I have attended the Baptist church, I feel more comfortable in the Catholic Church.

We take on the weight of the world, when our world should not have that much weight. T. Lanette Pollard

I think the reason is that I approach it from a historical as well as the spiritual perspective. But again I get off topic like ADD people will do, so back to my original point.

This was the first time where my priest was able to present the gospel and relate it to everyday life. We try to handle our deeper problems on our own. Some problems are too great and beyond our control. In this case, Father E* said we have to open up the door for God to help us.

I am so “road-worn and emotional battle weary” that I still want to control every situation.

At this time in my life, I can agree with Father E. But when I was deep into my depression in 1999, I wasn’t hearing anything close to that message. I was in such a hopeless state that I wasn’t ready for spiritual guidance.

Now, I am ready.  We take on the weight of the world when our world should not have that much weight. I am so “road-worn and emotional battle weary” that I still want to control every situation.

So, I am suspending my “emotional wrestling” career. I am letting go of situations I can’t control. I am accepting what God has in store. It is time for me to sit back and enjoy the journey (even if the ride gets bumpy along the way).

Thanks for spending time with me.

T. Lanette Pollard

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